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Bret Stephens: Gail, I’m sick of looking at the pictures coming out of Los Angeles. Lives, homes, jobs, landmarks, neighborhoods — burned, destroyed, gone. I know this had to have a political dimension and a lot of blame to throw, but this should be an opportunity for unity of purpose.
Gail Collins: Absolutely. The whole world is united in grief.
However, when the fire is finally under control and we get through our first stages of grief and mourning, I really, really believe that we need to address global warming and climate change — a phenomenon that our future president says he doesn’t believe in.
Brett: Yes — but it’s too early for political arguments and ideological reckoning, regardless of whether the alleged culprits are climate change or DEI. For now, let Democrats and Republicans work together to get Angelenos the help they need. We can argue about everything later.
Gail: I agree. And we have a lot of other things to contend with as the new Congress begins. But we have to start with—sigh—Donald Trump. I’m kind of happy with the outcome of his trial here in New York.
Brett: Say more.
Gail: You can’t send a guy to jail when he was just elected president by people who were fully informed of his 34 felony convictions. For, um, falsifying business records to cover up a sex scandal.
But giving him an unconditional discharge makes him the first felon to ever serve as president. You think that will be his footnote in history?
Brett: To me, the conclusion of this drama only reinforces the sense that the prosecution, verdict and sentence were fundamentally political.
I’m not talking about the morality of Trump having an affair with a porn star while his wife was at home with their newborn and then trying to cover it up with a cash payment. Voters can decide for themselves what to do with it – and they did. I’m talking about the convoluted reasoning behind the case — a record-keeping violation turned felony — that almost certainly wouldn’t have been brought against a less notorious defendant. Also, a slap on the wrist, which would not be given to a lesser defendant – or do defendants convicted of 34 felonies usually get off without a sentence? After all, the case’s political effect, which has been to raise Trump’s profile among his base, not to mention help him raise a fortune for his campaign, while deepening the perception of politicized justice at the hands of progressive prosecutors.
Gail: Trump’s base would be thrilled to have him arrested for anything.
Brett: Which is another reason to oppose him only in the court of public opinion. In short: liberals now call Trump a “criminal,” while the rest of America calls him “Mr. President.” Do you have a sense of what his first few weeks in office will look like?
Gail: I’m very, very interested to see what happens in Congress. Where the very narrow Republican majority in the House of Representatives wants to extend Trump’s tax cuts, many of them are aimed at the wealthy.
Chairman Mike Johnson has made it clear that he wants to avoid any cuts to Medicare or Social Security.
It sounds painless, except for that old devil, the national debt. Bret, you are a true fiscal conservative. How does it all seem to you?
Brett: Well, keeping current tax rates instead of letting the 2017 cuts expire would support private consumption and investment, create jobs and increase productivity, and reduce the debt burden relative to gross domestic product. I also hope Trump is serious this time around about government waste — like the $100 billion a year lost to Medicare and Medicaid fraud — and stupid federal mandates, regulations and subsidies, like the billions we throw away every year on ethanol and other environmentally destructive biofuels . According to one study, as of January 2023, there were approximately 1,091,860 federal regulations.
Gail: Let’s see if Elon Musk and his co-workers really choose the reckless ones to eliminate.
Brett: Fair point. Maybe he can whittle it down to just 420,000 rules and see who gets the joke. And, yes, Musk’s prominence in Trumpworld worries me. Excessive concentration of personal wealth, political power and media influence. That, plus his newfound affinity for far-right parties in Europe. The question is, will Trump and Musk’s romance last four years — or four months?
Gail: It could go either way, right? Huge personal wealth is one thing Trump really respects. But if we ever get to the point where the president thinks Musk is getting more attention than he is, all bets are off.
Brett: Another “only in Trump’s world” topic I’ve been thinking about, Gail, is his request to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. Speaking of which, what about changing the name of New Mexico to “Not Mexico”? Or Arizona in “Amerizona”? Or El Paso on “No Pasarán”?
Gail: Hey, we can ask Musk if trying to rename a large international body of water is an efficient way to spend money.
Brett: Not to mention the upcoming renaming of Greenland, as one viral meme put it, to “Mar-a-Igloo.” Which reminds me: Should we buy it?
Gail: Many Greenlanders would like to get out from under Denmark, but I doubt Donald Trump’s big hand would be an improvement.
I can’t think of any new territories I’d like to see us conquer. But you’re a foreign affairs guy, don’t you think?
Brett: Well, here it is: I’m all for it. Not by force, of course. But Greenland is strategically important, rich in minerals and economically underdeveloped – which is why the Chinese have shown an unhealthy interest in it. Also, why is there still a huge European territory, bigger than Mexico, on the North American continent?
We should encourage Denmark to allow the Greenlanders to hold a referendum on the following: an American offer to make Greenland a self-governing American territory, with a status similar to that of, say, the US Virgin Islands — which we also bought from Denmark, during World War I — and an offer to each person in Greenland is paid $1 million over 10 years to become a US citizen. With about 57,000 people in Greenland, it would cost the US about $5.7 billion a year. Not a high price to pay for an island that could one day be as important to the United States as Alaska, once known as “Seward’s Folly.”
Gail: There’s still a week to go until Inauguration Day, Bret. Got an entertainer you’d like to suggest for a — shudder — celebration?
Brett: Are the Village People still around? Who would you suggest? Rudy Giuliani doing his best Frank Sinatra impersonation?
Gail: Ah, I’m glad you mentioned Giuliani. He is an excellent example of why the public should always remember that just because someone is good at one particular thing does not mean they are good at everything. Or even two things.
A great crime fighter in the 1980s, but going into politics was a disaster for Rudy – from bad mayor to crazy Trump aide who will essentially lose everything he’s ever made to two Georgia election workers he viciously smeared after Trump’s election loss.
Brett: I remember Rudy a little differently: the swaggering attorney general, the great mayor, the human train wreck.
Gail: As far as entertainers go, I guess it’s Kid Rock all the way.
Brett: There is a musical term for his art: barf. Another topic — any thoughts on Mark Zuckerberg’s decision to revise Meta’s speech rules to make it less censored and even move some of its operations from California to Texas?
Gail: We must remember that we have moved into an unprecedented world of human communication, where the old rules we have made to regulate public speaking and the printed word will not necessarily work.
But the idea that we’ve gone beyond fact-checking is… much further than I’m willing to go. And as you probably know, Bret, I once wrote a book about Texas. Lots of wonderful people in Texas, but powerful people who move their companies there generally don’t ask for Texas input.
Brett: Well, the problem is that Zuckerberg basically admitted that the left-wing employees of California-based Meta censored opinions they didn’t like, and that the social media platform shouldn’t be trying to tip the scales in political debate.
While he was at it, Zuckerberg also told Joe Rogan that “people from the Biden administration are going to call our team and, like, scream at them and swear at them” to get them to take down the posts, which is a hell of a way for the Democratic administration to protect principles of the First Amendment. Perhaps it is time for liberals to remember that if liberalism stands for anything, it is free speech for all.
Gail: We can all hold hands and agree that the president’s representatives do not curse publishers whose associates criticize the administration.
It’s much better to have civilized… conversations. Right?
Brett: Absolutely. Although there is something to be said about loneliness. Which reminds me: Be sure to read Elisabetta Povoledo’s stunning obituary in The Times for Mauro Morandi, known as the “Italian Robinson Crusoe”. Morandi, who died this month, lived alone for 32 years in an abandoned cabin on the beautiful and otherwise uninhabited island of Budelli, north of Sardinia, until old age and local officials forced him out a few years ago.
“The most important thing,” he said, “is that I have a peaceful relationship with time.” If only we all could.
